gtwelve12's Xanga

This blog site is OVER

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 18:12:27 GMT

Yes, I can say that I've moved on already.. This will be my last and FINAL post and will be transferring to an another user id here in Xanga. Don't worry, I'll update you guys as soon as I have time blogging again coz I've been very busy lately.

Well, about Matt??? Hmmm.. I wish him luck with his soon to be wife.. I wish them well and happiness with all my heart.. :) I have no special someone right now because I want to live life independently. I want to grow and mature so if the right one comes, I'm ready for it. :)

Thanks guys for reading my blogs. Especially for the comments and advices.. It helped me a lot.. :)

=)

---> I'll keep you posted......

FOR YOU... <3

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 17:49:52 GMT

G-SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!

I
WILL
ALWAYS
LOVE
YOU!!!!

-----> Everything I do, I do it for you....

=(

GOODBYE..

I survived Valentines Day =)

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 06:48:33 GMT

What happened to my Valentines???

Feb 13
I went to Dencio's Capitol Hills to have dinner with my friends. (Mika, Jorel and Patrick) That place is a very romantic spot because it's on top of a hill. On top of the city, so you'll just see tiny lights below. Far from civilization, away from traffic. Anyway, it's a group dinner. Had a few drinks. Everything seems perfect because I don't feel depressed at that moment. I was actually having fun. I never thought of Matt that night. But then, the clock striked 12.. I was shocked when I saw fireworks below me. Plus romantic songs playing as the background!!! I looked at the crowd and saw lovers kissing beside and in front of me which is really annoying. Everyone was like greeting Happy Valentines to each other. Hugging, coying and kissing.. Uggghhh! Then I thought of Matt. Then I asked to myself, "What is he doing right now? Is he happy? Is he contented?..." The fireworks display lasted for 5 minutes. It was beautiful, that's why I went emo all of a sudden. My friends noticed my sadness, they can see me hurting with the love songs playing so we decided to hit the road and go home.. Bitterness sucks!

Feb 14
Hanged out with the girls. FYI, 9 single ladies. lol. We went to Pier 1 for dinner and boosts. It's a girls night out. I really had fun with them. For the first time in my life, I enjoyed being with the all girls crowd. It's a very chill night. We talked and laughed about stuff. Laughed about our exes, take note, LAUGHED at them, not CRIED at them. lol. Anyway, my friend Jack called me. He said he'll pick me up coz he have a big problem. So I waved bye-bye to the girls and went to Jack's car. (Jack is Daphne's boyfriend, Daphne is my best friend..)

Jack and I went to a restaurant near our place. He is very depressed. He's crying, and I don't even know how to comfort him coz he's not yet telling me his problem. After minutes of crying, he finally told me the problem. God! I was shocked! I pity Daph so much.. =( Jack told me, "When I was still courting Daph, I hooked up with a girl. That girl called me lately, and told me that she's pregnant. She's 6 months pregnant! And I'm the father. I don't know what to do. I love Daph so much! I don't want to lose her. And I don't even care about that fucking girl!" When Jack told me his problem, I felt sad. There's tears falling down my cheeks coz I can imagine my best friend crying her eyes out. I felt disappointed with Jack but I have to understand him. It's an accident, and guys have their needs. He's scared of telling Daph the truth coz she will get mad and will break up with him.

I thought Jack's different compared to other guys. I was wrong. Now, I'm starting to hate guys. Their all the same! Boys will be boys!!! No matter how good they are, their still an ass. I'm really disappointed! =(

To all the guys out there! A big shoutout for ya!
"Nobodys perfect. I know that! But can you at least minimize you're ASSHOLE-ity and JERKNESS-ity??!"

Thanks :)

There's something I want to tell you...

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:35:43 GMT

I WANT TO MOVE ON!!!!!!!!
the thought of "him" getting engaged gives me chills..=(

For Matt:

Lately I see clouds of sorrow in your eyes. Some deep sadness you can never quite disguise.

Now I'm scared to ask what it's leading to but I'm more afraid of not asking you.

Is there something that you want to tell me?
Is there something that I ought to know?
Are we something that's still worth fighting for or should I simply let you go?
Is there something I can do to reach you?
Are we something more than history?
I'll find some way to convince you to stay if you just tell me honestly...
Is there something left of you and me???

You've got secrets you've been keeping for too long and I'm going crazy acting like there's nothing wrong.
I can taste the truth every time we kiss and I can't go on at least not like this.

I don't want to lose you but what's the use of holding on
I don't really have you If the feeling's gone..

Are we something more than history?
If there's no way to convince you to stay, and be the way we used to be..
Then there's something that I want to tell you and I want you to believe it's true:

"We had something that I'll never forget even if I wanted to because part of me will always be with you... =( "

My LAST Farewell

Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:14:26 GMT

Matt had been very special to me. I was so damn happy with him.
Whenever we have problems, I always stood by him and hoping we can pull things together.
I was so in love with Matt. No one else.
I gave him the key to my heart hoping that he'll take care of it.
Hoping that he'll be with me forever.
I never cheated on him, and if I did, Matt knows what I've done.
I can't keep secrets from him. I want him to know everything.
Everything about me!

I never betrayed his love for me.
I treasured that love and trusted him wholeheartedly.
Now I don't know what happened to that not-so-perfect but still perfect love.
I thought were meant for each other.
I know were not perfect, but nobody's perfect.
Matt should have not given us up.
I can picture him as my husband, as so as our 3 kids running around the park with us.
It's so depressing that the one I love is totally gone.
That I'd never gonna see him again as my man but by some girl's husband.
I can't stop thinking about Matt since the day he told me that he's engaged with Beth.
I want to know how he proposed.
I want to know everything.
But I have no right. I am nobody. I'm just one of his past.

About Beth, I don't like her. You can say that I'm bitter but I really don't like her.
That's the girl I was so pissed at ever since Matt and I were still together.
That girl's a bitch.
She's trying to steal Matt away from me. She keeps on calling him and asking Matt where he is.
That's not proper because I'm the girlfriend.
I'm so down in the dumps right now. I can't believe it.

Of all people Matt, why Beth? Why choose her instead of me???
I did everything for our relationship to work. I waited for you coz I know you'll come back.
I'm just here Matt. You know that. Why did you forget about me?
Now it's over. It's too late.
I keep on picturing the kind of ring you gave to her.
Is it pretty? Does her fingers match with it?
It hurts me a lot. I've never felt so depressed in my life.
My Matt's gone for sure.

I don't know when will this sink in to me.
I don't know if I can accept it.

For now, I'm really hurting.
Bulls Eye!!!
Congratulations Matt, you won.
You hold the BEST RECORD!! (ding ding ding ding ding!!)
<<Best record for hurting me a lot of times>>

I will never be happy for the both of you.
But someday I might...
I will...

If loving you is all that means to me
When being happy is all I hope you'd be
Then loving you must mean
I really have to set you free...

I LOVE YOU MATT, GOODBYE. :c

Goodbye Matt. Forever =(

Sat, 24 Jan 2009 12:58:40 GMT

Matt's ENGAGED!!!
I just wanna cry.
I'm very speechless. =(

Written by a GUY..

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 07:37:18 GMT

We don't care if you're friends with other guys.

But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls OR TEXTS you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait

till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/

cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.

Don't tell us we're wrong.

We'll stop trying to convince you.

The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood im in.

Let us pay for you!

Don’t "feel bad"

We enjoy doing it.

It's expected.

Smile and say "thank you."

Kiss us when no one's watching.

If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.

If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to

wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are.

honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my

shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

"Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us".

It's boring, and we don't care. You have friends for that.

Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful"?

I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me

with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of.

on the other hand I’m not saying I wouldn't like it ether

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change. ditch his sorry ASS, he's a disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect

Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say "i love you" ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.

*Holding Hands

Girls :If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of

times.

Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.

*Cuddling

Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold

Guys : Automatically move closer to her.

*Movies

Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder

Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

*Loving each other

Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her

too... And mean it.

*Laying below the stars

Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat

Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.

My hair's short already..

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 01:09:53 GMT

Okay..I decided to cut my hair short. =) And it turned out great. I look fantastic. lol

Anyway, my brother's friend made me a caricature. It's so me!!! Take a look at it.. =)

That's all for now.. I have to go to the gym. =)

It feels good to wake up early.. =)

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:41:47 GMT

Just got home from gym.. Gym day's great. It's my first day there! I met new friends. I had fun! Can't wait for Friday. =)

Anyway!! We have a make up class in our Law subject "Obligations and Contracts" today but I'm not in the mood to go to school right now..lol. Coz I really don't have classes every Wednesdays. Today should be my time off and I have Saturday classes anyway. (which is so lame!)
Midterms are near. It's next week. Wish me luck. I still have a holiday season hangover. I'm not yet ready to go back to reality. My head's still on vacation. lol.

My trip to the salon yesterday were cancelled. So I'll just go there later.

I want Megan Fox's hair. Love it!!! I want my hair to be exactly like this.

My Ideal Guy..or not...

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:25:03 GMT

I need a haircut.. =) I'll go to the salon later. I just want to be a brand new person this New Year.
I left all of my problems in 2008. Hopefully, those problems will be gone forever. I want it to stay in 2008. Just there, and not ruin my 2009.

Anyway, Gossip Girl resumed... It feels good to see Chuck Bass in action again.. How I wish I can be like Blair Waldorf. Okay, dream on! lol =)

I want to meet a guy like Chuck. Someone who's annoying, suave and brilliant. Someone who adores woman so much. And if he saw the right girl for him, he'll be loyal, sweet and honest to her. He'll do anything for the girl. Just for that girl, no one else. He'll be a perfect gentleman. Because of that, I want a Chuck Bass in my life.

It's funny right?! Because we all know Chuck Bass is a jerk and an asshole.
But those type of guys have hearts too. They get hurt and cry. Their sensitive.

Wondering why I posted something like this? Nothing really.. I just thought of my ideal guy.
I thought of a guy who will be there for me, in good times and in bad. Someone I can talk too..Whether serious or non-sense conversations. A guy who is trustworthy and down to earth. (Down to earth is so not Chuck Bass! lol)

But IDEAL GUYS are just "ideals". Get it? It's just just a dream..

You see, if ideal guy's are real..there's no challenge. There's no thrill and the spark won't last long.
For me, I want a guy who commits a lot of mistakes than spend my life with a perfect one.

I want to be there for him even in his darkest hours. I will be there for him. I will grow with him. We will correct mistakes together. I will appreciate him and make sure that he will feel understood. I will never emphasize his failures. I will support him, lift him up instead of putting him down. And even if he'll hurt me someday, I will forgive him because I know that I did my very best for our relationship to work. I will keep in my mind that some things aren't just meant to be. That this is how life supposed to be. There's ups and downs.

It's not perfect.

But it's still perfect.. =)