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Sunday, 22 March 2009

  • This blog site is OVER

    Yes, I can say that I've moved on already.. This will be my last and FINAL post and will be transferring to an another user id here in Xanga. Don't worry, I'll update you guys as soon as I have time blogging again coz I've been very busy lately.

    Well, about Matt??? Hmmm.. I wish him luck with his soon to be wife.. I wish them well and happiness with all my heart.. :) I have no special someone right now because I want to live life independently. I want to grow and mature so if the right one comes, I'm ready for it. :)

    Thanks guys for reading my blogs. Especially for the comments and advices.. It helped me a lot.. :)

    =)


    ---> I'll keep you posted......


Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Monday, 16 February 2009

  • I survived Valentines Day =)

    What happened to my Valentines???

    Feb 13
    I went to Dencio's Capitol Hills to have dinner with my friends. (Mika, Jorel and Patrick) That place is a very romantic spot because it's on top of a hill. On top of the city, so you'll just see tiny lights below. Far from civilization, away from traffic. Anyway, it's a group dinner. Had a few drinks. Everything seems perfect because I don't feel depressed at that moment. I was actually having fun. I never thought of Matt that night. But then, the clock striked 12.. I was shocked when I saw fireworks below me. Plus romantic songs playing as the background!!! I looked at the crowd and saw lovers kissing beside and in front of me which is really annoying. Everyone was like greeting Happy Valentines to each other. Hugging, coying and kissing.. Uggghhh! Then I thought of Matt. Then I asked to myself, "What is he doing right now? Is he happy? Is he contented?..." The fireworks display lasted for 5 minutes. It was beautiful, that's why I went emo all of a sudden. My friends noticed my sadness, they can see me hurting with the love songs playing so we decided to hit the road and go home.. Bitterness sucks!

    Feb 14
    Hanged out with the girls. FYI, 9 single ladies. lol. We went to Pier 1 for dinner and boosts. It's a girls night out. I really had fun with them. For the first time in my life, I enjoyed being with the all girls crowd. It's a very chill night. We talked and laughed about stuff. Laughed about our exes, take note, LAUGHED at them, not CRIED at them. lol. Anyway, my friend Jack called me. He said he'll pick me up coz he have a big problem. So I waved bye-bye to the girls and went to Jack's car. (Jack is Daphne's boyfriend, Daphne is my best friend..)

    Jack and I went to a restaurant near our place. He is very depressed. He's crying, and I don't even know how to comfort him coz he's not yet telling me his problem. After minutes of crying, he finally told me the problem. God! I was shocked! I pity Daph so much.. =( Jack told me, "When I was still courting Daph, I hooked up with a girl. That girl called me lately, and told me that she's pregnant. She's 6 months pregnant! And I'm the father. I don't know what to do. I love Daph so much! I don't want to lose her. And I don't even care about that fucking girl!" When Jack told me his problem, I felt sad. There's tears falling down my cheeks coz I can imagine my best friend crying her eyes out. I felt disappointed with Jack but I have to understand him. It's an accident, and guys have their needs. He's scared of telling Daph the truth coz she will get mad and will break up with him.

    I thought Jack's different compared to other guys. I was wrong. Now, I'm starting to hate guys. Their all the same! Boys will be boys!!! No matter how good they are, their still an ass. I'm really disappointed! =(

    To all the guys out there! A  big shoutout for ya!
    "Nobodys perfect. I know that! But can you at least minimize you're ASSHOLE-ity and JERKNESS-ity??!    "

    Thanks :)


Tuesday, 10 February 2009

  • There's something I want to tell you...

    I WANT TO MOVE ON!!!!!!!!
    the thought of "him" getting engaged gives me chills..=(

    For Matt:

    Lately I see clouds of sorrow in your eyes. Some deep sadness you can never quite disguise.
    Now I'm scared to ask what it's leading to but I'm more afraid of not asking you.
    Is there something that you want to tell me?
     Is there something that I ought to know?
     Are we something that's still worth fighting for or should I simply let you go?
     Is there something I can do to reach you?
     Are we something more than history?
     I'll find some way to convince you to stay if you just tell me honestly...
     Is there something left of you and me???
    You've got secrets you've been keeping for too long and I'm going crazy acting like there's nothing wrong.
     I can taste the truth every time we kiss and I can't go on at least not like this.
    I don't want to lose you but what's the use of holding on
     I don't really have you If the feeling's gone..
    Are we something more than history?
     If there's no way to convince you to stay, and be the way we used to be..
     Then there's something that I want to tell you and I want you to believe it's true:
    "We had something that I'll never forget even if I wanted to because part of me will always be with you... =( "


Monday, 26 January 2009

  • My LAST Farewell

    Matt had been very special to me. I was so damn happy with him.
    Whenever we have problems, I always stood by him and hoping we can pull things together.
    I was so in love with Matt. No one else.
    I gave him the key to my heart hoping that he'll take care of it.
    Hoping that he'll be with me forever.
    I never cheated on him, and if I did, Matt knows what I've done.
    I can't keep secrets from him. I want him to know everything.
    Everything about me!

    I never betrayed his love for me.
    I treasured that love and trusted him wholeheartedly.
    Now I don't know what happened to that not-so-perfect but still perfect love.
    I thought were meant for each other.
    I know were not perfect, but nobody's perfect.
    Matt should have not given us up.
    I can picture him as my husband, as so as our 3 kids running around the park with us.
    It's so depressing that the one I love is totally gone.
    That I'd never gonna see him again as my man but by some girl's husband.
    I can't stop thinking about Matt since the day he told me that he's engaged with Beth.
    I want to know how he proposed.
    I want to know everything.
    But I have no right. I am nobody. I'm just one of his past.

    About Beth, I don't like her. You can say that I'm bitter but I really don't like her.
    That's the girl I was so pissed at ever since Matt and I were still together.
    That girl's a bitch.
    She's trying to steal Matt away from me. She keeps on calling him and asking Matt where he is.
    That's not proper because I'm the girlfriend.
    I'm so down in the dumps right now. I can't believe it.

    Of all people Matt, why Beth? Why choose her instead of me???
    I did everything for our relationship to work. I waited for you coz I know you'll come back.
    I'm just here Matt. You know that. Why did you forget about me?
    Now it's over. It's too late.
    I keep on picturing the kind of ring you gave to her.
    Is it pretty? Does her fingers match with it?
    It hurts me a lot. I've never felt so depressed in my life.
    My Matt's gone for sure.

    I don't know when will this sink in to me.
    I don't know if I can accept it.

    For now, I'm really hurting.
              Bulls Eye!!!
    Congratulations Matt, you won.
    You hold the BEST RECORD!! (ding ding ding ding ding!!)
    <<Best record for hurting me a lot of times>>

    I will never be happy for the both of you.
    But someday I might...
    I will...

    If loving you is all that means to me
    When being happy is all I hope you'd be
    Then loving you must mean
    I really have to set you free...


    I LOVE YOU MATT, GOODBYE. :c

gtwelve12

  • Visit gtwelve12's Xanga Site
    • Name: Andie
    • Birthday: 12/23/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 6/21/2008

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